My sphere of influence

In an effort to use my time wisely, I had this random thought to reach out to some female friends who have made an impact on me personally and professionally. I'm trying to organize scheduled meet-ups for us all to discuss our triumphs, our tragedies, our concerns, and our doubts as we work towards our personal and career goals. I look to these women as a source of inspiration and motivation. Hopefully I can be the same for someone else. Each of the women I've approached meet the following criteria:

1. They are ambitious and/or influential among their peers.
2. They push me to achieve my personal best.
3. They are all gifted with talents and abilities.
4. We have worked together in some capacity.

I once heard somewhere that a wise person talks about ideas whereas a foolish person talks about people. Keeping this in mind, I don’t care to gather in a group of women and gossip. To me it’s a useless way to spend my precious time and it’s downright mean to slander someone behind his or her back. I’ve gained some perspective on this, as I’ve been the subject of floating rumors in certain social groups.

I prefer to surround myself with people who have big dreams and are the epitome of perseverance. I’m selective in how I spend my spare time since being a wife and mom keeps me plenty busy. I believe that if I’m to succeed in anything, I’ll need inspiration, support, and understanding from people who get what I’m trying to accomplish. And hopefully I can help or inspire someone else in her climb to success. So we’ll see how the first meeting goes. Until then, I’m learning to look at life more positively and constructively and encouragement from other like-minded individuals will surely give me a boost.

Are you depressed?

I heard a wonderful message in a sermon delivered by Pastor Ed Young, Jr. of Fellowship Church. He spoke about an emotional condition that affects so many people. For those of you who may be experiencing bouts of depression, heed these words.

The number one cure for depression is to go out into the world, find someone in need and help them. It’s as simple as that.

I believe that in doing so, you will find long-lasting fulfillment and joy in your life. Please consider offering a helping hand to someone in need. Not only will you feel good about putting someone else first, you’re also doing your part as God expects each one of us to do. When you give back you give glory to Him.

I have the most amazing readers!

There are several readers of this blog that have shared with me who they are. And I’m flattered. I can only pray that my anonymous readership grows with each post. I want to take a moment to say thank you to each and everyone of you that made the effort to write me your thoughts, your feedback, your words of comfort, and your praises. I have received text messages, emails, facebook messages, and out-of-the-blue phone calls from people I never imagined would care to read what I have to share. Each time I get a reaffirming message about particular blog entries, my heart soars.

I began this blog during one of the most trying times in my life. To be honest, I began this blog when my marriage hit rock bottom and certain people in my life decided to walk away at such a crucial time. If you revert back to my very first post and get further into it about a year ago exactly, you may realize I have endured a tumultuous era in my adult life. I knew no other way than to tackle my personal defeats in a creative form of therapy. In pursuit of self-discovery within my own spirituality and faith in Christ, blogging was an outlet to very publicly share how I overcome trials and how prayer has changed me for the better.

I began this blog on a positive note. I wanted to encourage readers to never be complacent especially when it comes to your spiritual relationship with Christ. Behind every one of my rants and raves, I intended to praise people to success despite the improbable hardships. I hope it’s understood that I believe people should never settle for anything less than their personal best in any capacity. I receive confirmation from readers that my attempt to be as sweetly honest with my innermost thoughts is productive. So to everyone who cares to read what’s in my heart, I thank you and appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for your confirmation. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for your sympathy. Thank you for caring.

Postpartum Pounds

This weekend was an emotional roller coaster for me. I had extreme highs after having experienced my first Mother’s Day. Then there were the moments I fell too deep into my own self-loathing insecurities. My husband did everything he could to cheer me up, but I decided it was never enough. It’s hideous of me to let my heart and emotions come down so low. After all, I’m blessed with so much: good health, a happy home, a loving marriage, and a beautiful baby boy. But believe it or not, my heart is still a volatile mess of emotions.

Right now, my biggest internal conflict is my postpartum weight issues. This blog is intended to share the sweet honesty of the reality I face. So here it goes…I currently weigh a whopping 152 lbs! I have NEVER weighed more than 130lbs on even my most bloated and miserable days, pre-pregnancy that is. My hips, thighs, and junk in this trunk are of gargantuan proportions. When I look in the mirror, I tell myself I look disgusting!

I’m blessed to have had a speedy metabolism and lean physique for all of my life. Then, I had a big baby boy and let my sweet cravings get the best of me. I did not discipline myself as much as I hoped to throughout the pregnancy and/or postpartum days. Granted, I am breastfeeding and my baby needs my calories. So dieting is not an option at the moment, but I digress. I caught myself looking into the mirror in a fitting room trying clothes that were my size but looked unflattering and straight up not hot at all! I’m a mom, and I ain’t tryin' to dress all hot to get attention. But I want to feel good wearing clothes that make me feel confident in this new body. I ain’t about to invest in “mom jeans!” I will do whatever it takes to avoid denim until I’m at my ideal weight. I already have this sluggish mom body and I refuse to give in to a less than flattering wardrobe just because I now have childbearing hips. In all seriousness, when it comes to my physique, it’s so hard to accept me for me at this present time.

My husband has been there for me, cheering me on with every pound I lose. He compliments me when I make the effort to do my hair. He tells baby that he has a beautiful mommy. Never once has my husband given me any reason to believe I’m physically disgusting. These dreadfully negative thoughts are all self-inflicted. And it’s now getting to the point where my negative opinions are superior to what anyone else says.

I can’t just say “thank you” when my husband says I look pretty. I’ve become so negative to the point where I allow my own perception of my physique to come before anything meaningful in life. I can’t look past the reality of having had a baby. I feel disgusting and in a sickly twisted way, I tell myself my feelings of disgust are the absolute truth. But it’s not the truth at all!

My husband has been my guidance counselor throughout postpartum. He got me to realize that these unreasonably self-centered, superficial insecurities about my outward appearance were once again letting the evil seep in. It’s another spiritual battle. Why would the “evil one” want me to be happy with all that I’m blessed with? Why would the “evil one” want me to recognize God’s greatest gift…my baby boy? Why would the “evil one” want me to be so spiritually high that nothing else matters? These questions all boil down to one simple truth. The “evil one” will work ‘round the clock to interfere with my recognition of God’s grace, His mercy, and His love. The “evil one” wants me to believe that it’s right to drown in self-hatred when it comes to my self-perception. When I obsess over my insecurities, the “evil one” wins.

It wasn’t until my husband and I had talked did I realized my dissatisfaction is crippling my spiritual well being. I’ve given in to the one sin from which all other sins arise…PRIDE. What is truly hideous is that I’ve become so engrossed in vanity.

Now is the time to get myself out of this rut. I must let go of the negativity that consumes me and hold firm to what is real and true. I should start by accepting the sweet compliments my husband gives me. Am I really disgusting? No! Do I have any reason to be unhappy with what I’ve been given? Heck no! I must squash any insignificant thoughts. It’s now up to me to let it all go and let God continue to work His way in my heart and into my mind.

Before I continue berating myself for my current full figure, I must understand my vanity is a sinful practice and no good can come of it. Not only is it rude to ignore compliments from my sweet husband, but it's also damaging to my personal worth and well being. What's the point of hating how I look? What am I really trying to prove? My self-worth cannot be measured by looks alone. It's time to be humbled and it's time to grow up. Looks aren't everything and placing my happiness/sadness on appearance is bulls!@#. Whenever my superficiality gets in the way of my happiness, all I have to do is take one good look at this beautiful, healthy baby boy that God gave me. Then nothing else will matter.

The Royal Wedding Part 2

I am humbled by the verses in scripture the royal couple has chosen to be read during the ceremony. I’ve picked out powerful verses and listed them below. These words stand out and remind me why I married the God-fearing man who has chosen to remain in this marriage for better and for worse.

"Let love be genuine. Hate what is evil. Serve the Lord. Persevere in prayer. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Live peaceably with all." (Romans 12:9-21)


In my heart of hearts, I believe my marriage will be forever if and only if we remain steadfast and true to these biblical standards. With all that my husband and I have endured and enjoyed, I have faith our marriage will be blessed by God as long as we choose to remain in this together.

In marriage, we must each grow into the man and woman God intended us to be. As long as we help each other spiritually, then an unending love will surely be.

The Royal Wedding

I woke up to feed the baby at 5:45 this morning and was thrilled to see live coverage of the royal wedding. It was magical and so romantic in its dignity and traditional honor. Kate Middleton did her own makeup on her wedding day. I admire her integrity in that she wanted to most closely resemble herself on her wedding as the girl Prince William fell in love with.



I was more of a traditional bride on my big day. I was not over the top nor was I too simple. I felt like a princess adorned in my hand-sown veil and satin white gown.



I went for simple elegance and remained emphatic yet poised throughout the nuptial mass service and evening reception. My hair was down with loose curls and partly pulled back. I wanted to look like myself and not terribly made up. I did have a talented makeup artist for my wedding day. She was the best in her craft. She created a naturally flawless look accentuating my facial features. She did an incredible job complementing what God gave me. I have never felt more beautiful than on my wedding day. That’s how every bride should feel on her wedding day. Whether royalty or not, every blushing bride is a princess bride.

The only two things that we did that strayed away from the conventional were the father-daughter dance and our surprise tribute to our friends and family. Again our wedding day was such a joyous occasion. We partied the night away and put on a show for our beloved in attendance. We created a moment both my husband and I will forever remember and hopefully for those who were there will also never forget.





Now please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to compare myself to the incomparable Kate Middleton, but I wanted to share just how special simple elegance can be for a blushing bride on her big day. To you ladies who are about to be married, I believe you will look your best by looking most like your everyday beautiful selves. Basque in the honorable beauty embodied in the nuptial ceremony. Remain poised and confident throughout. After all is said and done, you will look back truly cherishing every fleeting moment when all eyes are on you and yours will be on the perfect man you're going to marry.

Peace be with you

In her Lenten devotional blog post, my dear friend reminded me of a simple and necessary effort. How sweet and simple it is that we share peace with those that we love. During mass, the congregation spreads peace to each other prior to receiving the Holy Eucharist. With a neighborly handshake, we greet our friends, families and nearby strangers warmly by expressing, “peace be with you.”

Mass is a time of prayerful meditation for me. During mass, I am most peaceful in mind and in my heart. Although I conjure up my troubles and temptations or joys and praises, my soul is uplifted knowing that His house is my peaceful sanctuary. I talk to God anytime and everyday but of course, it’s so different while kneeling in my pew.

I realize the necessity of peaceful acceptance with the hand I’ve been dealt. Peace can come in the form of accepting my current life situation. It can also come in the form of accepting a broken relationship. But I feel the most rewarding and daunting attempt could be peace in the form of forgiveness.

Sharing peace with others can be a silent effort in your heart when lifted up in prayer. Only God knows what’s truly in your heart when it comes to others. Only God will judge your true intentions and knowing this, I’m reminded of the power of prayer. I keep telling myself that prayer doesn’t change God’s perfect plan. Prayer changes me.

I’ve recently come face to face with former friends. As a result of past mistakes made between myself and another guilty party, certain people have publicly and privately turned their backs on our friendship in one way or another. It was bound to happen that these former friends and I would one day meet again. To my surprise, our anticipated reunion was completely peaceful. I didn’t get the silent treatment and thankfully it wasn’t too awkward. I somehow found it in me to genuinely smile and lovingly embrace a particular individual despite the reality we now face of no longer being “friends.”

Although I was the one who initiated communication after so many months of creative avoidance, I believe the peace I found in my heart to approach her was God working His way in and through me. God’s perfect plan was to let each of us go our separate ways despite that pride was the overriding reason. But my prayers to Him helped me change who I once was towards her. The encounter could have been dramatic and unproductive if we let prideful unrest get the best of it. But again, I dug deep within my soul to offer peace despite the past. For me, this peace was beautiful and transcendent. In this peace, I found acceptance of our current friendship status (or lack thereof). In this acceptance I found closure and contentment.
At this point I would have it no other way, and I praise God for how it all turned out in the end.

As I sit and think about friends who have come and gone and those who have withstood the test of time, to each of them I bring peace. As I would do in church, I offer each of them peace in the silent form of prayer, acceptance and forgiveness for whatever will be will be.

“Peace I give to you, my friends…my friends
And I will love you ‘til the end.”