For the past few evenings, my husband and I have turned off the TV to talk about our faith journeys, our marriage and our precious baby Isaac on the way. I brought up my pent up frustrations with my own success and potential. For those that know me, I’ve always said “you’re going to see my name in lights someday.” I still believe that will one day come true.
But the frustration comes from not knowing God’s purpose for the gifts and talents He’s given me. I want to be used by Him to do something great. I can’t deny that I have a resume of professional capacities that some could see as great. But for the hungry ambition that continues to boil within me, none of it has been great enough. But that’s by my own standards, and perhaps that’s where I’m going wrong. I’m realizing to do great and to be great, it’s NOT about ME! I’ve mentioned time and again, it’s about everyone I can help along the way.
Mary Kay believed women can enrich themselves by enriching others. In my independently owned business, I cannot get to the top without bringing someone up there with me. The efforts of generosity and philanthropy in the Mary Kay world should never be underestimated. I LOVE MK’s ideology and will ensure it thrives within my business acumen.
But I sadly admit to my husband, Mary Kay is not how I want to see myself succeed on this unprecedented level ‘m reaching for. I’m still searching for the way God will use this special gift He’s given me.
I am NOT complacent, and I pray I never will be. I believe complacency breeds an idle mind. Complacency is detrimental in any work environment or voluntary effort. I’ve mentioned my husband and I are involved in helping the church he grew up in. This church community is predominately Filipino-based. It’s a blessing to be surrounded by my cultural roots, but it’s also a hindrance.
I am PROUD to be a Filipina, but I’m NOT proud of Filipinos. It’s a sad and harsh fact to realize. Time and time again, I’ve been surrounded by this sense of complacency. It’s almost as if I’ve been raised to work to get by rather than work hard to achieve more. When I was juggling my more than full-time job at Mark Cuban Co’s while working my Mary Kay business, my mom told me I shouldn’t be working so hard. That conversation will NEVER escape me. I couldn’t believe how she chose to show her concern for my well-being. Then looking back over my life, I’ve been raised in the same mindset. Work to get you by, but don’t work your tail off if it’s not necessary. I was encouraged to use my talents to get me by but was never pushed to take it to the next level. Thanks to my upbringing, I never saw my true potential realized in several instances. I didn’t know to choose to live otherwise. Complacency got me nowhere!
Back to the church, I was in a rather troubling discussion with other members who happen to be of Filipino descent. In a conversation about building a new church, I was appalled by the reactions of other members. People stepped up to admit they haven’t done enough in their assigned roles. But they were sure to say they have a will to help and they want to be used to do God’s work. Well that’s only half of the battle!
It’s great they have a will to donate their time and efforts, but something else is keeping them from achieving more. They’re so complacent in their excuses. Some had said they cannot do more because they don’t know how to do more. Some had even said they blame their cultural upbringing on their hindrance to achieve more. I heard excuses like, “In the Philippines, we were never raised to help lead the church. We were just raised to attend church and we relied on the nameless few to run the business of our place of worship.” With that sense of complacency, they never cared to step up and figure out how they can do more to help. So now, they rest their laurels on that cultural ideology.
I see within our group there is a will to help the church now but no ambition to further their service out of their cultural comfort zone. Now please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not putting my own culture down. I’m sharing this brutally harsh observation in hopes that it will create change or some form of motivation to get out of the depths of complacency.
Then I look at myself and what I’ve achieved or have yet to succeed in. I’ve been the exact same way! I did what it took to get me by in Mary Kay, but I didn’t push myself to achieve so much more that was within my grasp. I didn’t choose to achieve more. I was comfortable with the accolades, the money and the recognition. But I wasn’t comfortable enough to do the uncomfortable to get me to super-stardom level in my own business. I’m completely disgusted with myself! I have the choice to enrich myself by enriching others, yet I have stumbled into my own sense of complacency.
But here is what sets me apart from the many complacent Filipinos. I know I have a God-given gift to share with others. I know my life is not my own to control and if I continually ask Him to guide me in the right direction, I will be used to my fullest potential to achieve what so many are willing to seek but not willing to do the hard work for. I have several ongoing projects and plans that I pray will come to fruition if in His plan for me. It will be a bumpy road and only my faith and perseverance can pull me through. I have to stop myself from just getting by and really push myself to do what’s uncomfortable for now.
It’s easy to set goals and to dream big. It’s even easier to make excuses as to why that dream has to be put on hold. I cannot be scared to step up and do the work that seems unnatural. I must rise to the challenge but cannot rely on myself to get the job done. It is Christ who strengthens me in all things and it is Christ who will never lead me astray. As long as I seek Him for guidance, my own perseverance will kick in. I just may surprise myself (and everyone around me) that I am capable of achieving so much more.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
A very productive lunch
I had the most delectable and productive lunch with my amazing mother-in-law. We didn't talk about our usual topics of conversations. Instead, we began brainstorming ways to collaborate and apply God-given talents for the benefit of others. If we are to actually pursue her action plan, the main objective would be to help groups of people find stable income so they can provide for their families with less financial worries or economic uncertainties.
My mother-in-law is an incredible human being with a soulful desire to help anyone in need. She presented a business idea to me that completely blew me away. I of course cannot share in detail what her plan is just yet. She still needs to hone in on her focus. But I'm proud to say, we actually put a business plan on paper and have assumed deadline dates for action items that will not only keep her motivated but will hold her accountable. (So many of us dream big but never follow it up with action.) She's graciously involving me in her business ideas. It's an honor to know she trusts me with her vision for this rather audacious plan.
Although the business plan is still in its infancy, I truly believe in what she's trying to accomplish. Let me just share the kind of person that she is and how we can all learn from her selflessness. She's been cooking up ideas to help people she knows who are financially unstable and who have an urgent need to care for their family. Over a delicious lunch of fried pork chops and sesame seed oiled-snow peas, we discussed how her business will help so many people in need. The business isn't about how much she can profit. Again, her goal is to help as many people as she possibly can. She's willing to venture out beyond her medical expertise to the foreign world of entrepreneurship. She'll put herself out there by taking and assuming all associated risks. This is her venture, her sacrifice, her blood, her sweat and her tears for the benefit of others. She's just putting what blessings God has bestowed upon her to good use. Believe me...she wants nothing more than to bring others to the very tip top.
She doesn't care for profit margins nor does she care for fame or prestige. She just wants to help people in a very unique way. In fact, it's so unique, I don't think this particular idea has been attempted in this geographical area. She has me salivating at just the thought. I of course see financial success as a potential reward. But she doesn't. Again, profits are not what matter to her. All she kept going on an on about is how many people she can help along the way.
With her attitude, creativity, spirituality, and her heart of philanthropy, I have all of the faith that she will succeed in more ways than she can even fathom. She understands that in order to make anything of yourself, you must be willing to help those in need. It seems as if this business would be her most exceptional form of giving back to the community she already so selflessly gives to.
Most people are inclined to do the work because there's something in it for them. Not my mother-in-law. She wants to do the work because there's so much in it for everyone around her. To me, reaching that pinnacle is the ultimate joy we're all meant to achieve. But there aren't many like her who will seize the opportunity to experience such a great and immeasurable reward.
I am going to help her get this idea off the ground and running. Praise God I have the time and resources to help. But first, there's a lot of work and more brainstorming to be done. Stay tuned...if it's in God's plan, this truly will happen and will be a story worth following.
My mother-in-law is an incredible human being with a soulful desire to help anyone in need. She presented a business idea to me that completely blew me away. I of course cannot share in detail what her plan is just yet. She still needs to hone in on her focus. But I'm proud to say, we actually put a business plan on paper and have assumed deadline dates for action items that will not only keep her motivated but will hold her accountable. (So many of us dream big but never follow it up with action.) She's graciously involving me in her business ideas. It's an honor to know she trusts me with her vision for this rather audacious plan.
Although the business plan is still in its infancy, I truly believe in what she's trying to accomplish. Let me just share the kind of person that she is and how we can all learn from her selflessness. She's been cooking up ideas to help people she knows who are financially unstable and who have an urgent need to care for their family. Over a delicious lunch of fried pork chops and sesame seed oiled-snow peas, we discussed how her business will help so many people in need. The business isn't about how much she can profit. Again, her goal is to help as many people as she possibly can. She's willing to venture out beyond her medical expertise to the foreign world of entrepreneurship. She'll put herself out there by taking and assuming all associated risks. This is her venture, her sacrifice, her blood, her sweat and her tears for the benefit of others. She's just putting what blessings God has bestowed upon her to good use. Believe me...she wants nothing more than to bring others to the very tip top.
She doesn't care for profit margins nor does she care for fame or prestige. She just wants to help people in a very unique way. In fact, it's so unique, I don't think this particular idea has been attempted in this geographical area. She has me salivating at just the thought. I of course see financial success as a potential reward. But she doesn't. Again, profits are not what matter to her. All she kept going on an on about is how many people she can help along the way.
With her attitude, creativity, spirituality, and her heart of philanthropy, I have all of the faith that she will succeed in more ways than she can even fathom. She understands that in order to make anything of yourself, you must be willing to help those in need. It seems as if this business would be her most exceptional form of giving back to the community she already so selflessly gives to.
Most people are inclined to do the work because there's something in it for them. Not my mother-in-law. She wants to do the work because there's so much in it for everyone around her. To me, reaching that pinnacle is the ultimate joy we're all meant to achieve. But there aren't many like her who will seize the opportunity to experience such a great and immeasurable reward.
I am going to help her get this idea off the ground and running. Praise God I have the time and resources to help. But first, there's a lot of work and more brainstorming to be done. Stay tuned...if it's in God's plan, this truly will happen and will be a story worth following.
Self-Image
I've been thinking a lot lately about self-image, particularly because my body morphs everyday during this pregnancy. Surely we all have external imperfections we wish could have been bigger, smaller, prettier or just different than how God made us. But after watching a documentary that candidly depicted the sad tales of women whose decision to pursue plastic surgery went awry, I can't help but feel bad for them.
For the record, I don't feel bad that they're in the state of depression or "suffering" in their post-surgical days. I feel bad that they never found the inner strength or inner beauty within themselves to squash superficial desires to enhance their body parts. Let me also state that these women chronicled in the documentary were already drop-dead gorgeous. One woman is an athletic trainer and model by trade. The other woman is a model in Las Vegas. Both are naturally blessed in beauty and physique. But with as much as they had, they wanted something else.
The terrible truth is that these two young women are not happy with the first round of plastic surgery they had done. The athletic trainer was suffering from debilitating ailments caused by her breast implants. The Vegas model hated her "Pinocchio" nose job.
Cameras followed these women around to show how their post-surgical dissatisfaction affected their everyday living. Towards the end of the segment, they both opted to have a second surgical procedure even with uncertainties that the problems they're dealing with will ever get fixed...for the better or for the worse. They both took a gamble and another huge health risk.
After both surgeries were performed, they both immediately felt relief and excitement with their results. Then as weeks went by, each woman became even more unhappy with what they were left with. The athletic trainer had her health and life back but was flat-chested. The Vegas model corrected her Pinocchio nose, but let the influence of others' opinions overcome how happy she initially was after the second surgery.
Moral of the story, these girls were never happy with their beautiful bodies to begin with. They further altered and risked disfiguring their natural features to find happiness and contentment. I believe they never found it because they never had the appreciation for their self-image from the get go.
There's a breed of people who go through life wishing to change what they've been blessed with. They then surgically make a change and are still left unsatisfied. What will it take to make them happy? Why not seek alternative measures to find true joy and happiness with self-image? If you have nice legs, show 'em off all year round and feel great about the stares and compliments you get. If you have a beautifully clear complexion, let it shine through your smile and look people squarely in the eyes so they can see your flawless radiant glow. They call you Mr. Personality because you're so "ugly." Then infect people with your charm and wit so that everyone would feel so lucky to be your friend. Trust me, there are ways to dig down deep and count the many beautiful blessings you have on your beautiful body. Count your blessings and let those overcome any superficial insecurities.
Self-image is quite the beast to conquer. I struggle like any other woman. But I would never change what God intended to give me. I'm proud to say I am happy and securely accept what I've got...and keepin' it real is the greatest compliment I can give to my Creator.
For the record, I don't feel bad that they're in the state of depression or "suffering" in their post-surgical days. I feel bad that they never found the inner strength or inner beauty within themselves to squash superficial desires to enhance their body parts. Let me also state that these women chronicled in the documentary were already drop-dead gorgeous. One woman is an athletic trainer and model by trade. The other woman is a model in Las Vegas. Both are naturally blessed in beauty and physique. But with as much as they had, they wanted something else.
The terrible truth is that these two young women are not happy with the first round of plastic surgery they had done. The athletic trainer was suffering from debilitating ailments caused by her breast implants. The Vegas model hated her "Pinocchio" nose job.
Cameras followed these women around to show how their post-surgical dissatisfaction affected their everyday living. Towards the end of the segment, they both opted to have a second surgical procedure even with uncertainties that the problems they're dealing with will ever get fixed...for the better or for the worse. They both took a gamble and another huge health risk.
After both surgeries were performed, they both immediately felt relief and excitement with their results. Then as weeks went by, each woman became even more unhappy with what they were left with. The athletic trainer had her health and life back but was flat-chested. The Vegas model corrected her Pinocchio nose, but let the influence of others' opinions overcome how happy she initially was after the second surgery.
Moral of the story, these girls were never happy with their beautiful bodies to begin with. They further altered and risked disfiguring their natural features to find happiness and contentment. I believe they never found it because they never had the appreciation for their self-image from the get go.
There's a breed of people who go through life wishing to change what they've been blessed with. They then surgically make a change and are still left unsatisfied. What will it take to make them happy? Why not seek alternative measures to find true joy and happiness with self-image? If you have nice legs, show 'em off all year round and feel great about the stares and compliments you get. If you have a beautifully clear complexion, let it shine through your smile and look people squarely in the eyes so they can see your flawless radiant glow. They call you Mr. Personality because you're so "ugly." Then infect people with your charm and wit so that everyone would feel so lucky to be your friend. Trust me, there are ways to dig down deep and count the many beautiful blessings you have on your beautiful body. Count your blessings and let those overcome any superficial insecurities.
Self-image is quite the beast to conquer. I struggle like any other woman. But I would never change what God intended to give me. I'm proud to say I am happy and securely accept what I've got...and keepin' it real is the greatest compliment I can give to my Creator.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Seek wisdom and see what happens!
Today's Our Daily Bread daily devotional had another message that spoke to my heart. I can relate to today's biblical theme with my current life situation. We as Christians should reflect on the following thought, "God gives peace to those who are quiet before him."
In his own interpretation, my husband so beautifully broke it down for me...from his heart, through his wisdom and in his own eloquently simple words. My husband reminds me that there's too much noise coming in and going out all around us. We're surrounded by so many unimportant things every waking moment. But in the quietness of the very moment when we choose to drown out all worldly ruckus, only then can we truly come to know God and His awesome presence and almighty powers.
I must admit, 2010 has been THE most challenging year of my entire life with demands for spiritual growth in my marriage. As a living testimony to our faith, my husband and I have decided to drown out the noise, minimize the clutter, throw out the garbage and purposefully avoid negative distractions from our focus. We do everything we can to keep our eyes on HIM. But for those who know or for those who don't know what we've had to endure this past year, you may never understand how daunting of a task it has been to silence everything and everyone who don't matter.
I picked up a book my husband has been reading by Larry Lea entitled, "Wisdom - Don't Live Life Without It." Ever since my husband has made wisdom one of his main prayer requests, so much has changed for us...and for the better. He teaches me to never lose focus on the mere fact that God is always working. He works through your pain, through your pleasure and most especially when you don't realize He is working. My husband's spiritual wisdom astonishes me. He has matured into this man of God with a razor-sharp focus on the cross. He tells me he doesn't have superpowers, although to many who know him, we all seem to think he does. But there's no such thing. He tells me he lives life searching for more wisdom, no matter how intense the situation may be. In his wisdom, faith surely follows with a peace that somehow surpasses his own understanding.
Through the gift of wisdom as Lea ingeniously explains in his book, we've learned the why's and who's when it comes to silencing the unnecessarily loud noise. People will always find something to gather and gossip about. People who don't care for you to succeed will somehow find a way to bring you down to their misery. The hypocrites will stop at nothing to destroy their neighbor and its only those who lack wisdom that go out of their way to despise their neighbors. It's so sad, but you see it as the truth in every social circle you may have. We're salaciously human...everything worldly is what we so naturally adhere to.
My husband and I have lived, loved, and lost in the most extreme sense this past year. When it was so much easier to let the resounding noise of senseless negativity and defeat overcome our hope in God's second chances and new beginnings, we chose to trample through the clutter with Christ-seeking hearts. When anyone would try to bring us down, we kept each other focused on what only God knows we need...not by anyone's expectations or by their worldly standards. We seem to come together holding hands taking the road less traveled.
With as much as God have given us to persevere through, my husband constantly reminds me that in every situation, good or bad, there should be JOY that follows. There is no sense for preparing ourselves for disappointment when looking at the treacherous road ahead. Once we silence the world, keep our eyes focused and make the effort to follow Christ in his teachings, only then can we truly know God in all of his glory.
I must say there were times I thought I deserved so much more than what I got. There were times when I thought what I was given was way too much to handle. But thankfully, my husband is always next to me reminding me that joy is soon to follow. Now look at where we are today. Never in a million years did I think our marriage would be so blessed. Never did I think we could have so much to celebrate than we do now. Despite the chaos of this year and having to force ourselves to drown out the noise, God was always working on something so great. I praise God for our prayers have been answered. I am 16 weeks PREGNANT and have never felt so strong, so loved and so convicted in my 28 years of life. God is giving us the miracle of a new life. We're going to be parents very, very soon. Praise God, we seek for spiritual wisdom to carry us through it all. Now, as soon-to-be parents, it's our calling to share what wisdom we've gained with our baby-to-be so that Baby can also know just how great God truly is.
In his own interpretation, my husband so beautifully broke it down for me...from his heart, through his wisdom and in his own eloquently simple words. My husband reminds me that there's too much noise coming in and going out all around us. We're surrounded by so many unimportant things every waking moment. But in the quietness of the very moment when we choose to drown out all worldly ruckus, only then can we truly come to know God and His awesome presence and almighty powers.
I must admit, 2010 has been THE most challenging year of my entire life with demands for spiritual growth in my marriage. As a living testimony to our faith, my husband and I have decided to drown out the noise, minimize the clutter, throw out the garbage and purposefully avoid negative distractions from our focus. We do everything we can to keep our eyes on HIM. But for those who know or for those who don't know what we've had to endure this past year, you may never understand how daunting of a task it has been to silence everything and everyone who don't matter.
I picked up a book my husband has been reading by Larry Lea entitled, "Wisdom - Don't Live Life Without It." Ever since my husband has made wisdom one of his main prayer requests, so much has changed for us...and for the better. He teaches me to never lose focus on the mere fact that God is always working. He works through your pain, through your pleasure and most especially when you don't realize He is working. My husband's spiritual wisdom astonishes me. He has matured into this man of God with a razor-sharp focus on the cross. He tells me he doesn't have superpowers, although to many who know him, we all seem to think he does. But there's no such thing. He tells me he lives life searching for more wisdom, no matter how intense the situation may be. In his wisdom, faith surely follows with a peace that somehow surpasses his own understanding.
Through the gift of wisdom as Lea ingeniously explains in his book, we've learned the why's and who's when it comes to silencing the unnecessarily loud noise. People will always find something to gather and gossip about. People who don't care for you to succeed will somehow find a way to bring you down to their misery. The hypocrites will stop at nothing to destroy their neighbor and its only those who lack wisdom that go out of their way to despise their neighbors. It's so sad, but you see it as the truth in every social circle you may have. We're salaciously human...everything worldly is what we so naturally adhere to.
My husband and I have lived, loved, and lost in the most extreme sense this past year. When it was so much easier to let the resounding noise of senseless negativity and defeat overcome our hope in God's second chances and new beginnings, we chose to trample through the clutter with Christ-seeking hearts. When anyone would try to bring us down, we kept each other focused on what only God knows we need...not by anyone's expectations or by their worldly standards. We seem to come together holding hands taking the road less traveled.
With as much as God have given us to persevere through, my husband constantly reminds me that in every situation, good or bad, there should be JOY that follows. There is no sense for preparing ourselves for disappointment when looking at the treacherous road ahead. Once we silence the world, keep our eyes focused and make the effort to follow Christ in his teachings, only then can we truly know God in all of his glory.
I must say there were times I thought I deserved so much more than what I got. There were times when I thought what I was given was way too much to handle. But thankfully, my husband is always next to me reminding me that joy is soon to follow. Now look at where we are today. Never in a million years did I think our marriage would be so blessed. Never did I think we could have so much to celebrate than we do now. Despite the chaos of this year and having to force ourselves to drown out the noise, God was always working on something so great. I praise God for our prayers have been answered. I am 16 weeks PREGNANT and have never felt so strong, so loved and so convicted in my 28 years of life. God is giving us the miracle of a new life. We're going to be parents very, very soon. Praise God, we seek for spiritual wisdom to carry us through it all. Now, as soon-to-be parents, it's our calling to share what wisdom we've gained with our baby-to-be so that Baby can also know just how great God truly is.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
A simple decision can change your whole life
My husband and I attended a marriage conference at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Denton, TX this past weekend with special guest Dr. Scott Hahn. It was an incredible experience for the both of us. It's important to note that Dr. Hahn is not only one of the nation's top theologians, but he was of a Protestant faith and later converted to Catholicism after having learned about the Bible, Christianity and further delving into his own personal walk with God.
A simple lesson Dr. Hahn addressed was making rightful decisions in life. Although it seems straightforward, we're all given the choice to follow Christ in every aspect of our lives. Once you make that choice and live by it, all of your priorities change as a direct result. Once you choose the route towards following Christ, you'll notice your language changes, your friends and social activities will change and your personal goals and purpose will inevitably change. I must say, Dr. Hahn is so right.
I've made it a point to leave behind the mistakes of the past and turn towards goodness, service, love and loyalty. As soon as I made this decision, I've noticed a new circle of friends I strive to become the sum of. But most importantly, my purpose in this life has taken a turn for the better...and for the good of a greater purpose.
I'd like to take a moment and reflect on the person I'm leaving behind. Looking back on old photos, I now realize altering my mind with liquid confidence as I seductively shake it on the dance floor now seems like a waste of my precious time and brain cells. Let's not forget, I just looked like a fool out there. I was known to be the first out on the dance floor, with my Mavs-Dancer wannabe moves after a shot or two of hard liquor. The liquid confidence made me think everyone thought I was hot. But I was NOT! Ick! Look at me! I was a disgusting mess. I was only fooling myself.
Indulging in the sin of binge drinking and the sexiness of the nightlife brought out the ugly in my heart. Choosing the indulgent lifestyle of partying (without a purpose) drove me closer and closer to death. Clearly, I don't mean death in the physical form. I was dead on the inside and avoided what was right and good in this world. I was seduced by the nighttime because the dark kept me from really seeing how I actually looked through beer-stained goggles. I hung out with a crowd whose purpose in life was to have fun, have a drink and pretend life is about pleasure and indulgence. (I'm mainly speaking to those of you who are at least 30 or above. Time to wisen up, people!) That slightly older group got me nowhere good. That group is what I became the sum of, which was a big fat nothing. Shouldn't I be looking up to them? That group stupidly lacks wisdom in what's right and does not care for the greater good. Sadly, they were who I chose to surround myself with...and now I'm still paying for the lifestyle choice I made.
But thankfully, I am working to live above the indulgence and have chosen to do what it takes to be more in the image of Christ. What I hope and dream in these days far outweighs the smallness that I once stood as. I've opened my my mind to wisdom and now lead my heart to follow a choice that not many would choose. And I'm proud of that. My prayer is to never fall for the "hook of adrenaline" or for temporary relief and pleasure.
Taking this route has not been easy, but that makes it all the more rewarding. It's especially difficult because I no longer see people who I once adored. But that's been a HUGE blessing in disguise. I look at them now with pity and lift up prayers for their lack of wisdom in the poor choices they continue to make. Sinful indulgence can take you away from what we're all created to do. As in Ephesians 2:10, we have been created by God to do good works which have already been predetermined for each of us. But it's up to us to make the simple decision that can potentially change our entire lives. As I've mentioned before, I can't say that I'm a saint. But I'm choosing to live while trying to be. God doesn't expect perfection from us. HE just wants our hearts to willingly follow Him. When you choose to make that choice, no matter how unnatural or unattractive it may seem in the worldly sense, the great reward is indescribable.
A simple lesson Dr. Hahn addressed was making rightful decisions in life. Although it seems straightforward, we're all given the choice to follow Christ in every aspect of our lives. Once you make that choice and live by it, all of your priorities change as a direct result. Once you choose the route towards following Christ, you'll notice your language changes, your friends and social activities will change and your personal goals and purpose will inevitably change. I must say, Dr. Hahn is so right.
I've made it a point to leave behind the mistakes of the past and turn towards goodness, service, love and loyalty. As soon as I made this decision, I've noticed a new circle of friends I strive to become the sum of. But most importantly, my purpose in this life has taken a turn for the better...and for the good of a greater purpose.
I'd like to take a moment and reflect on the person I'm leaving behind. Looking back on old photos, I now realize altering my mind with liquid confidence as I seductively shake it on the dance floor now seems like a waste of my precious time and brain cells. Let's not forget, I just looked like a fool out there. I was known to be the first out on the dance floor, with my Mavs-Dancer wannabe moves after a shot or two of hard liquor. The liquid confidence made me think everyone thought I was hot. But I was NOT! Ick! Look at me! I was a disgusting mess. I was only fooling myself.
Indulging in the sin of binge drinking and the sexiness of the nightlife brought out the ugly in my heart. Choosing the indulgent lifestyle of partying (without a purpose) drove me closer and closer to death. Clearly, I don't mean death in the physical form. I was dead on the inside and avoided what was right and good in this world. I was seduced by the nighttime because the dark kept me from really seeing how I actually looked through beer-stained goggles. I hung out with a crowd whose purpose in life was to have fun, have a drink and pretend life is about pleasure and indulgence. (I'm mainly speaking to those of you who are at least 30 or above. Time to wisen up, people!) That slightly older group got me nowhere good. That group is what I became the sum of, which was a big fat nothing. Shouldn't I be looking up to them? That group stupidly lacks wisdom in what's right and does not care for the greater good. Sadly, they were who I chose to surround myself with...and now I'm still paying for the lifestyle choice I made.
But thankfully, I am working to live above the indulgence and have chosen to do what it takes to be more in the image of Christ. What I hope and dream in these days far outweighs the smallness that I once stood as. I've opened my my mind to wisdom and now lead my heart to follow a choice that not many would choose. And I'm proud of that. My prayer is to never fall for the "hook of adrenaline" or for temporary relief and pleasure.
Taking this route has not been easy, but that makes it all the more rewarding. It's especially difficult because I no longer see people who I once adored. But that's been a HUGE blessing in disguise. I look at them now with pity and lift up prayers for their lack of wisdom in the poor choices they continue to make. Sinful indulgence can take you away from what we're all created to do. As in Ephesians 2:10, we have been created by God to do good works which have already been predetermined for each of us. But it's up to us to make the simple decision that can potentially change our entire lives. As I've mentioned before, I can't say that I'm a saint. But I'm choosing to live while trying to be. God doesn't expect perfection from us. HE just wants our hearts to willingly follow Him. When you choose to make that choice, no matter how unnatural or unattractive it may seem in the worldly sense, the great reward is indescribable.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Forgive me, Father for I have sinned
Today's daily devotional made me take a hard look at myself. The Word made me look back on who I was and what I was doing wrong. I will be first to admit that I suffered from a spiritual condition that afflicted my service, my efforts and how everyone perceived me.
In the past couple of years, I have made an effort to not only serve the church but also stand in front of the church as someone who was righteous and good. Like the Pharisees in Matthew 15, I was always quick to serve in the church, quick to instruct everyone around me, but my heart was far from God. I was living a double life and at the time, no one knew.
Now the secret's out, and I must humbly apologize to everyone I blind-sided. I was doing good but for the wrong reason. I was serving others rather than serving the Lord. I made it about all me when it all should have been about Him. I was selfish in my perceived selflessness.
I can't say I was fully focusing on the Lord back then. Sure I knew He was there, but I didn't always keep my heart centered on holiness. Sure I was doing good works, but that wasn't enough. I fooled myself into thinking that people must have looked up at me on the pedestal I created and thought to themselves, "she's so perfect and good because of the works she does."
Looking back, I'm so ashamed. Only now I understand that God doesn't expect perfection. He only wants our hearts. I was so busy striving for the "image" of perfection. What a facade! What a phony! Never was my heart truly where it needed to be -- serving for the Lord and only Him. I wasn't supposed to serve the people, my family or any other onlookers. I wasn't supposed to serve for my own self-interest or personal gain. My service and my heart should have been in one place...centered and focused on Him.
Father, forgive me. Back then I knew not what I was doing wrong. But now, I'm doing the work and making it a point to make it all about Him. Like the billboard says, I am second. Only when my heart is centered on Him will everything just fall rightfully into place.
In the past couple of years, I have made an effort to not only serve the church but also stand in front of the church as someone who was righteous and good. Like the Pharisees in Matthew 15, I was always quick to serve in the church, quick to instruct everyone around me, but my heart was far from God. I was living a double life and at the time, no one knew.
Now the secret's out, and I must humbly apologize to everyone I blind-sided. I was doing good but for the wrong reason. I was serving others rather than serving the Lord. I made it about all me when it all should have been about Him. I was selfish in my perceived selflessness.
I can't say I was fully focusing on the Lord back then. Sure I knew He was there, but I didn't always keep my heart centered on holiness. Sure I was doing good works, but that wasn't enough. I fooled myself into thinking that people must have looked up at me on the pedestal I created and thought to themselves, "she's so perfect and good because of the works she does."
Looking back, I'm so ashamed. Only now I understand that God doesn't expect perfection. He only wants our hearts. I was so busy striving for the "image" of perfection. What a facade! What a phony! Never was my heart truly where it needed to be -- serving for the Lord and only Him. I wasn't supposed to serve the people, my family or any other onlookers. I wasn't supposed to serve for my own self-interest or personal gain. My service and my heart should have been in one place...centered and focused on Him.
Father, forgive me. Back then I knew not what I was doing wrong. But now, I'm doing the work and making it a point to make it all about Him. Like the billboard says, I am second. Only when my heart is centered on Him will everything just fall rightfully into place.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Party with a Purpose - Support Umphress Rd United Methodist Church
As some of you know, I'm in the building committee at the church my husband grew up in, Umphress Road United Methodist Church. Since April, we've started an ongoing campaign to raise money towards the "Believe to Achieve" building project fund. This small church is made up of people from all ethnic and cultural backgrounds, ages and stages of life who seek new life in Jesus Christ.
Thanks to its growing membership, we have now outgrown the worship facility. Our building committee is working with a Dallas-based architecture firm that has created a beautifully designed plan of action for a new sanctuary. However, the financial demands are quite overwhelming. In order to make our dreams for a new church come true, donations from members outside of the community are encouraged and greatly appreciated.
I have an exciting plan to help the church in its efforts. Sign up to host a Mary Kay party with me, your MK Independent Beauty Consultant, and a percentage of what you and your friends purchase will benefit Umphress Rd UMC's efforts to build a new church facility.
As a host, you can invite your friends to get pampered for a day. Enjoy a FREE facial. Learn skin-clearing and anti-aging secrets. More importantly, party with a purpose and help Umphress raise money to build a new church.
As a thank you, each party host will earn product discounts and a FREE gift from me!! You can host a party at a location of your choice. Post a comment to this blog and I will contact you via email for more information. Please help me spread the word, and thanks so much for your continued support of my Mary Kay business. Let's get together and party with a purpose!
Thanks to its growing membership, we have now outgrown the worship facility. Our building committee is working with a Dallas-based architecture firm that has created a beautifully designed plan of action for a new sanctuary. However, the financial demands are quite overwhelming. In order to make our dreams for a new church come true, donations from members outside of the community are encouraged and greatly appreciated.
I have an exciting plan to help the church in its efforts. Sign up to host a Mary Kay party with me, your MK Independent Beauty Consultant, and a percentage of what you and your friends purchase will benefit Umphress Rd UMC's efforts to build a new church facility.
As a host, you can invite your friends to get pampered for a day. Enjoy a FREE facial. Learn skin-clearing and anti-aging secrets. More importantly, party with a purpose and help Umphress raise money to build a new church.
As a thank you, each party host will earn product discounts and a FREE gift from me!! You can host a party at a location of your choice. Post a comment to this blog and I will contact you via email for more information. Please help me spread the word, and thanks so much for your continued support of my Mary Kay business. Let's get together and party with a purpose!
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