Supporting his success

Praise God I’ve had a change of heart. In an effort to look at the glass half full, I’m now reaping the benefits although I had another mommy-meltdown moment a few weeks ago. I had a terrible day and was exhausted physically and drained emotionally. With all of my responsibilities at home with the kids, I felt like I was drowning. I sent text messages to my husband throughout the day saying I’ve just about had it and was feeling defeated. He was extremely sensitive to my emotional and mental needs and even offered to listen to me vent right before he walked into an important meeting. I passed on that opportunity and went about my hectic day.

Later that afternoon, my husband sent a text asking if I’d be okay for him to attend a happy hour event with a colleague. I replied saying that although I was worn down from the day, I thought I would have been fine if he went out after business hours. He assured me he wouldn’t be out late. But it didn’t take long for me to become resentful and to settle into crazy stalker mode.

Around 8:00pm, I began calling him repeatedly and texting him to come home because I couldn’t handle things any longer. It seemed that I had given in to my own weaknesses and let my exhaustion take me over the edge. When my husband rushed home to rescue me, he wasn’t greeted by a hello or a thank you. Instead, I gave both babies to him, yelled stupid remarks about my dreadful day, took the car keys and “ran away” to the nearby movie theater parking lot to cry my eyes out for 10 minutes. After I had my very emotional breakdown, I went back to the house and carried on with a bitter and resentful attitude.

Looking back to that episode, I’m ashamed at my behavior and feeling so sorry for my sweet husband. He didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, and my boys should never have to see their mother act so deranged. So, I’ve made the simple decision to look at my busy life in a new light. I must always remember that neither my husband nor my boys deserve my resentful bitterness.

Earlier this year, my husband was promoted to manager of the engineering department at his company. I’m quite proud of his impactful accomplishments at his young professional age. But with this big promotion came a huge time commitment and sacrifice. My husband now works six days nearly every week. Lately he has been coming home just before 7pm. He travels internationally and domestically and is a manager overseeing 9 other engineers. He is busy and we praise God for the job security. But that means I have become even busier here at home since he’s out working for his hard-earned money.

There are times I pressure him to come home immediately so he can relieve the stress I feel from the kids. The poor guy gets pressure from his demanding job and pressure from his demanding wife. But all of this madness is changing, slowly but surely, for the better. I’ve only now realized my husband cannot be great at what he does if I’m not great at what I do.

My husband has an important job as the provider and protector of this family. It’s my wifely duty to make sure everyone in his family is loved and cared for in all ways. I better not forget, it’s Biblical to live the womanly role managing my household while my husband is at the office working to support and provide for us.

So I have started to support him in the best way I know how. Most recently, I happily packed his bags with clean laundry for a tradeshow he had in Las Vegas. I got up at the crack of dawn to masterfully prepare his breakfast sandwich of choice… Nutella spread wedged between three layers of whole grain toast with a thermos of searing hot coffee.

Prior to his trip, I stayed up super late one night to critique a slideshow presentation that he delivered to his company’s executives and international sales team. That turned out to be a fun night. Helping him prepare for that big-time presentation was more than satisfying…it was so rewarding.

He has assured me these little tasks have helped him in his day-to-day grind, but they’re nowhere near as vital to his success as my attitude and acceptance of the truth. It’s that Biblical truth that I firmly hold on to and come back to whenever I get distracted or discouraged when living out my role. This role I play oftentimes beats me down emotionally and physically. This role I have accepted is not always convenient nor is it my preference when my selfish ambition creeps in. Being wife and mother can seem like the most difficult and thankless job, and I become resentful sometimes. But these are my faults and my weaknesses. I think being a wife and mom is about self-sacrifice. I give so much of myself everyday so everyone around me can be great, and praise God that I can and that I do.

I find great fulfillment in my daily life knowing that my husband sees just how hard I work at home. Perhaps my stay-at-home wife and mom career will help my husband advance in his career path? Well it actually isn’t a question. He is moving on up and experiencing bigger and better things at work, and I’m so proud of his accomplishments. I can only imagine his value and potential at his company. I’m not trying to take credit for my husband’s success. But I do find great reward knowing that when I do my best in my job, he succeeds as well. I doubt I can find that kind of fulfillment anywhere else.

At the end of every day when I’m exhausted and beaten down after giving my all to my boys, I am eternally grateful. I praise God for the family He’s given me and I humbly accept the role He expects of me. I have never felt so needed by so many people. I feel I’m being used as God intended because I’m the one at home handling our ongoing responsibilities, appointments and obligations. I feel like all that I do here is one less thing for my overworked husband to worry about. So I will continue doing my best and being my best with the intention of lightening his already burdensome load. I’ll do what I gotta do because we need him to be great too.