Let the countdown begin!

I’m in my final four weeks of pregnancy with Baby Eli. I’m scheduled for a C-section delivery on July 2 but am praying that Eli will be delivered the vaginal way. Call me crazy, but I would love to experience my water breaking and the torment of laboring for hours. My mom says I’m not missing out on much. But I’ll take 17 hours of labor over the intense weeks of recovery from a C-section surgery…bleh!

So far, I’ve gained roughly 31-34 lbs. The scale says something different every morning when I weigh myself after I get out of bed and before I put anything into my enormous stomach. My belly is SO huge these days, and I can’t seem to get myself to take pictures now that I’m so far along in my pregnancy. I am HUGE and no angle is flattering. But I feel guilty that Eli doesn’t have baby bump pictures to look back on. Hopefully I will come to my senses and will take some pictures before we all meet the little guy.

In about two weeks, I’ve been encouraged to take a last chance sonogram to see just how big this baby boy is. I was told if he’s anywhere below 8 pounds, I have a greater chance of delivery vaginally. If he’s anywhere over 8 pounds, the safe and smart route would be surgery. Isaac weighed almost 9 pounds at birth. It would be a shock to us all if Eli weighed less than that.

For those of you who read this blog, I ask you to please keep our family, Baby Eli, and myself in your prayers. We’re in the home stretch and although I’m more uncomfortable than ever, I’m so anxious to hold this baby in my arms and witness Isaac’s first reaction to his little baby brother. Thanks, everyone!

There's no business like MOM business

I’m officially 100% all in as a stay-at-home wife and mom. I made the bold attempt to maintain my marketing contract jobs alongside my Mary Kay home business while raising my son. I’m grateful for the income earning opportunities, and it’s a luxury to be able to do what I love as a profession. But no matter how hard I try to juggle it all, none have been remarkably successful. Not one has yielded a return worth the time I sacrifice away from my husband and son who deserve my undivided attention. I have come to realize that trying to be the mom who “does it all” is not the way I want to live this life because my work is most efficient when put into a role like no other – motherhood.



I’ve had a huge wake up call over the past few months thanks to life lessons, my faith and the spiritual wisdom I’ve gained. I graciously accept that while it’s my responsibility it’s also a privilege to stay home and raise our family. My calling is to work towards being a loving wife, an organized house manager, and a nurturing stay-at-home mom above all other things.



For the mothers who have the strength and perseverance to juggle work outside of the home while maintaining her family and home, I highly respect each one of them. I have attempted juggling work life and family priorities, and I was not as successful as others are. It’s not my forte, and I respect the mothers who have found that balance.

I just think I’ve been in denial for most of my son’s life. I really thought that doing the job I love while raising children would yield satisfaction and balance for me. I learned through trial and error that was absolutely not the case.

When great opportunities have come my way, I was once so eager to pursue them. I would think to myself, “Why would I ever pass up a fun work project that paid good money?” I thought it would be crazy to walk away from that. So, I hired part-time help to assist me in managing work projects and my self-owned business so that I could care for my son. It took less than three months for me to see failure from that poorly constructed strategy.

I cannot do it all nor am I expected to. The only priorities that I truly care to do well are being here at home for my husband and for my son. It puts me at ease knowing I’m the one changing every poopy diaper. There is great satisfaction when I’m the one maintaining the house the way I expect it to run. To me, there is no job that could ever be as important or life changing as raising my child. In my opinion, there is no other investment more promising than being a mother who is (and can be) 100% vested in her family’s future. There is no greater sense of peace when realizing I’m blessed to be at this point in life and I’m blessed with all that I have.

I pray I don’t give in to my own selfish ambitions. I pray that my family never has to take a backseat just because a job demands my greatest commodity…my time. I pray that God gives me His work until my life shall end and life until my most important work is done.

Repentance

I will quote a book I’m currently reading entitled, “Journeying with Jesus: Reflections and Prayers Away from Home” by Msgr. Ruperto C. Santos. Only recently have I come to understand the true meaning of “repentance.” Below is an excerpt from the book that most clearly explains its important meaning to me.

“It is to be sorry for the wrong we have done, the hurt we have inflicted, and the sins we have committed. To repent is to commit our whole self, our whole thinking, and our whole being to Jesus. It means turning away from material things in order to embrace our cross; it is letting go of our personal convenience in order to be ready for sacrifice and to serve; it is shunning earthly satisfaction in order to live our spiritual commitments. To repent is not to compromise. We will not bargain or strike a deal. We will not be neutral or fence sitters. It is either we walk with Jesus or we walk out. It is either we go with Jesus or we give up on him. Our repentance demands from us a 360-degree turn from our old self, that is, from our old self marked by sin and selfishness. Our repentance is a change of beliefs, a change of heart, and a change of life. It is not a change of words or styles, but a turning back to God.”

World's Greatest Dad

Now that I’m expecting my second child with a healthy start to my second trimester, I’d like to take this time to give props to my husband, or more fittingly, the world’s greatest dad.



He is amazing to say the least. I’ve written before that my success with breastfeeding my son, Isaac, for nearly 10 months was largely due to my husband’s support and encouragement. For all of you dads out there, I hope you can either relate to what I’m about to share or perhaps find inspiration as you help raise your offspring with the mother of your child(ren).

My husband has experienced pregnancy, a miscarriage, labor/Cesarean delivery, and postpartum issues right along with me. He’s had to endure watching me squirm out of physical discomfort. He’s had to play my bedside lactation consultant each time I wanted to give up when breastfeeding seemed nearly too painful to go on. He played the role as my psychiatrist when I had the emotionally draining bouts of postpartum depression. Nowadays, he’s my nighttime nanny who takes round-the-clock care for my 11-month-old boy. Even after each strenuous 9-hour workday, he takes on all responsibilities and chores just so I can be snuggled in bed early each night.

But I must say, the biggest help is the simple fact that he believes in the power of prayer. In every situation, he applies spiritual wisdom so that things don’t ever seem unmanageable or too difficult to endure. He always has hope in the future and growing love for our Lord Jesus Christ. If it weren’t for his unshakeable faith in God, I am convinced he wouldn’t be the beautiful man he is.

In fact, several friends and family that have witnessed the dynamic between father and his son have approached me astounded by how much my husband does for his family. People have said just how blessed I am to have a husband so loving, so nurturing, and so selfless that his greatest attributes shine like never before when he deals with our son. I’ve even been told that I appear well rested although I’m a new mom with a bun in the oven. If that is true, that’s only because my husband works tirelessly to make sure I’m first priority and my son is always cared for.

He totally stepped up and put aside his hobbies and personal time after my son was born. As a lifelong fitness fanatic, he hasn’t set foot in a gym more than twice since he became a father. He waited years and years to invest in a mountain bike and he once took to the trails so happily and free-spirited. After becoming a daddy, he hasn’t touched his mountain bike in almost a year. The few nights he decides to hang with the guys, he cuts his night out short to be home with mom and baby. With all of this, he has NEVER complained...not once! When it comes to his wife and his son, no job is left undone nor is any request ever a bother. Seriously, this man has never complained even with my ridiculous demands!

He’s my hero and never did I think God would bless me so abundantly. I’ve been wretched in many ways and ungrateful in more ways than I care to admit. But I know God’s grace is always so good. The Lord, for some reason, feels that I deserve a man who undeniably treats me like a queen.

Thank you, Honey for all that you do. Because of you, I look forward to the children we may be fortunate enough to raise. Because of you, nothing seems impossible to bear. You are my rock and the very reason I care to be the best at everything expected of me.

Peace...continued

I know you resent me and wish nothing good for my life. I will do my best to stay away--out of sight and hopefully out of mind. If I seem pushy, it is not my intention.

I believe it takes more effort to maintain your anger and resentment than to let go and move on. To let go is to find a peace that will set you free from the torment of your anger. But in order to let go, you have to find forgiveness in your heart first and foremost. I’m not asking for you to forget what I’ve done. I just ask that you forgive me and give peace a chance.

Philanthropy

Earlier today I had a successful one-on-one meeting with author/entrepreneur/TV and radio personality/Southern Living Editor-at-Large, Kimberly Shlegel Whitman. She is the devoted mother and successful businesswoman I aspire to be like. More importantly, she is a philanthropist at heart. Check out her Website at www.kimberlywhitman.com to learn more about her growing empire.

Today we brainstormed and refreshed our promotional outreach strategy for her Website and blog site, RSVP Calendar (http://rsvpcalendar.blogspot.com). I’ve been a part of her team since July of 2010. I am humbled and honored to contribute to her continued mission and vision.



Just last week, I came across an article back from 2008 that described Kim’s role as a new mother and entrepreneur. It was inspiring to read how she manages the demands of motherhood and found the balance to maintain her professional/social life. But what really struck me in the article was that she genuinely lives by her parents’ mantra, “To whom much is given, much is expected.”

I think it’s something for us all to think about. Most everyone I know is blessed with abundance. I imagine it would only take a mere fraction of our time to give back to the less fortunate. This is a new year and a time for resolutions. Why not make it your New Year’s resolution to take a break from the everyday hustle and bustle and serve at a church or at a pet adoption center or a senior living center? Whether you give financially or donate your spare time to help someone in need, either way will go a long way. I strongly believe our gifts are not only meant for us to enjoy. I believe I have what I have so that I can share with those who are without.

Passion and Career

I was asked to write up a biography for a local DJ’s Website that is currently under construction. I was flattered he entrusted me with such a task. He is phenomenal in his craft and was blessed to have found his one passion at an early age. Over 21 years ago, he discovered an interest. He turned that interest into a disciplined practice. He shared his skillful gift with the masses. After all these years of being in business, his unique expertise has steadily been in high demand. He's getting paid to do what he loves...and he sure loves what he does. He shared a personal quote that I want to make my mantra in my own career path. He simply stated to “find out what you’re passionate about and do it for the rest of your life.”

As I’ve written more than once, I’m blessed with many talents and the potential to succeed. However, I’m still struggling to find that one craft I’m so passionate to hone and perfect. If only I could focus on the one thing I love to do in this life and utilize it as a financial means to give back to God and to provide for my family. But what the heck is that one thing?

Well, it’s 3:14am and there are other productive things I could be doing with my insomnia. But instead, I choose to write what it’s in my heart. Perhaps I should just write forever. I should write what I learn. I should write about my defeats and victories. I should write about what hurts me and what makes my heart soar. I should write until I run out of words, which will probably never happen. I love words. I love using the right words. I love writing the powerful words that capture exactly how I feel at that given moment. Perhaps writing is my passion?

Well, I’ve got a lot of work to do. Thank God it’s a new year and I can begin with a clean slate with the will to hone this craft. I don’t believe I’m a great writer yet. But I have enough passion to share and use this talent for the rest of my life.