This is a particular subject that may leave some confused, hungry for more or even in blatant disagreement with where I’m trying to go on this stream of consciousness. My husband and I have been reading blogs, listening to podcasts and following the work of influential individuals who we admire on a spiritual and financial level. I’m not sure how else to put this, but it’s a lonely feeling taking the road less traveled. So we have turned to folks like Dave Ramsey and Kari Patterson to find some source of inspiration as we learn how to be good stewards of our financial blessings.
My husband and I are trying to get our family out of the (relatively) little debt that has held us down for too many years. Before we had children, we enjoyed living a life of extravagant luxury: international travel, random excursions to Las Vegas, bottle service at swanky lounge/nightclubs, designer clothing, owning/operating a Mary Kay home business, and eating at the finest restaurants all too regularly. Man, we thought spending on our credit card was the right choice at that time. WRONG! Oh we were so WRONG, and now we’re paying for our foolish and irresponsible choices. I’m so embarrassed to admit how ignorant we once were. We literally charged most everything to our credit cards for the first few years of our working professional lives. We both had (and still maintain) excellent credit. But back when we had dual income and no dependents, we foolishly thought we could live large and in charge.
Now let’s visit the present day. Our looming credit card debt is holding us back from financially giving back. It’s disgusting, and I’m mortified to admit that we are not currently giving to the church until we can eradicate this horrid debt. I need to mention that for years, even with our gut-churning debt, we still gave our more than 10% to the church. It wasn’t until recent months had we decided to withhold our giving. Both my husband and I feel terrible that we are now focused on our own financial goals of eliminating our debt without giving back as Biblically encouraged. Thank you, Dave Ramsey, for making it so clear that we have to take care of our self-indulgent-buying-on-credit mess before we can fulfill our financial stewardship.
So now I’m feeling the pangs of loneliness because I don’t know how to reach out and talk to people about where we stand and where we’re trying to go. I have never asked friends if they give 10% of their income to their church. I have never asked if any of my friends care to be out of personal credit card debt. It’s none of my business, so therefore, I will never ask. But I’m so self-centered in thinking that people must wonder why we don’t buy more or do more now that we’re enjoying a (relatively) luxurious life with our kids and dogs. I believe we’re in a unique financial situation. For many that know our background and personal story, you know what I mean by unique. For those who may know what we’re able to enjoy, I’m guessing they may not know the kind of sacrifices we’re choosing to make in order to pursue debt elimination. It is uncomfortable to bring this all up because I personally believe money talk is taboo. But there is more we could do and indulge in because of our financial blessings. But we are freely (and temporarily) not going to add to our collection of unnecessary luxuries while taking away from the collection plate. For our family, there is one goal and one purpose…to get to a financial point where we can GIVE more to whom it all came from.
It’s so hard to explain in words the passion and fire we feel to take what we have and give back. It’s no easy feat to give up certain comforts or pass on impulse purchases. Thank God we have some wisdom and sense that giving in to our interests/hobbies might keep us further away from being able to give more. We have a plan of action to reimburse the money lost in our giving to the church. When we get to our financial goal by paying off our personal credit card debt, returning to automatic giving is our number one priority. Until then, we’ll have to wait it out by delaying fun trips with our boys or refrain from buying extravagant things we don’t necessarily need but really, really want. It’s uncomfortable, and I kind of hate it. I’m not perfect and doing what’s right doesn’t feel natural. We’re human and are inclined to indulge, even at the expense of giving back. But tithing is necessary and as stated in the Bible, it is what we are called to do. If only there was a way I knew how to talk this out without awkwardness or pride getting in the way…………. But for now, I will have to resort to blogging it out. Thanks for letting me share.
